Audrey at justfivemore just posted about this, but I wanted to post it again. It needs to be read. by. every. single. one. of. y’all.
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Be Aware
It’s National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, and that means several things:
-more people than usual will try to stage “interventions” on their friends, who may or may not be eating disordered;
-everyone on the blogosphere will suddenly remember they once had an “eating disorder”, and emote about it extensively;
-a ridiculous amount of incorrect statistics (25% OF WOMEN HAVE AN EATING DISORDER!!! …no, it’s more like 1%-3%) and misguided calls to arms (ELIMINATE MIRRORS!!!) will be copy-pasted around the internet; and
-everyone will forget again by next Monday.
So in the spirit of awareness (because really, anyone who hasn’t heard of anorexia these days is presumably a feral jungle child, but finding anyone who is actually educated about it also feels as difficult as finding a feral jungle child), here’s what one eating disordered person has to say about it.
BE AWARE that not everyone with an eating disorder is thin, and that not everyone who is thin has an eating disorder.
BE AWARE that just because you’ve got issues with your hips does not mean you understand eating disorders, and that telling someone with an ED that you “get it” because you once juice-fasted is going to come across about as sensitively as telling an alcoholic you “get it” because you have a glass of wine with your dinner.
BE AWARE that while trying to help is a wonderful thing to do, most people with eating disorders already know they have a problem, and many of us are working on it or trying to get to a point where that’s possible. Also, many of us would much rather not talk about it (especially in a work or school environment—and DEFINITELY if you’re a stranger on the street!), so if we try to change the subject, respect us instead of patronizing us with “BUT THIS CAN KILL YOU!”, because most of us know that damn well.
BE AWARE that no matter how much you want to help your girlfriend/best friend/daughter, the only person who can “save” her is her. Be there for her. Support her. Listen to her. But do not try to control her. Not only is this insulting, it’s also likely to push her even deeper into the disorder (the “control” stereotype associated with EDs is not just talk).
BE AWARE that diet ads, skinny celebrities, and “societal beauty standards” have very, very little to do with the enormous majority of clinical eating disorders, and that confounding body dissatisfaction with EDs perpetuates an unfortunate myth that even advocacy organizations have latched onto. It’s easy to point fingers, but it doesn’t help.
BE AWARE that eating disorders are no one’s fault. It’s not the disordered person’s fault. It’s not her parents’ fault. And it’s not Kate Moss’s fault, either, or the pro-ana girls on the internet.
BE AWARE that you cannot “cure” eating disorders, either ad hominem or as a society. Yes, some people can overcome them (and they deserve major respect). But some people just can’t, and some can but won’t. And obviously, the “changing society” thing won’t work, since society didn’t cause them in the first place.
And most of all, BE AWARE that for those of us with anorexia or bulimia or BED or EDNOS, eating disorders are a part of who we are—but they are not us. Never, ever forget that.
(via andyouwhisperedhurry)
